you know you're asian when...

You ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later they're still lecturing
Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15
You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry
You shop at 99 Ranch
Everyone thinks you're "Chinese" no matter what part of Asia your ancestors were from
You've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life
Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids
You drive mostly Japanese cars.
You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom
You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs
Your pencil cases, erasers, and pens are pastel colored with cute dogs/bears/kittens named RooRoo, RaaRaa, HelloKitty, etc.
You've gotten little red envelopes filled with money around February
Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back, and closet doors
Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages, like the ever-so-popular: ching chong woo bok chi, etc..
Your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin
The Bio lectures on marine life (seaweed, sea cucumbers, octopii) was last night's dinner
You have bad eyesight
Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, "In Korea (or other native country), we studied even more."
Your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street in any given area as long as they are Asian
An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother?" Well then, "Is it your sister?"
Your parents say, "Calculus? I took Calculus in 8th grade!"
Everyone thinks you're good at math
You like buying 100 of something that's 50% off You like buying 100 of something that's 75% off even more
Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks, and English words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange, and the ever popular lime green
You go to an Asian restaurant and realize they're serving American imitation food
People see a bunch of scribbles on a chopstick and ask you to translate
You have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and Uncle"
You have 12+ aunts and uncles
You've taken some sort of martial art.
At expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert
The vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses. Thick glasses.
You're short.
Your parents have either made you play the piano, the violin, or both, since the age of 6
You get nothing if you do well in school, but punished severely if you don't
When going to other people's houses, you always have to bring a gift
Your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with the blue and pink stripes at the top
Your family owns a tennis racquet, golf clubs, or both
Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV (i.e. Michael Chan)
The furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations, or any of the rest of the furniture
You own a rice cooker or two
You buy soy sauce by the gallon
Your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much they still appreciated going
Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come.
You hate getting B's.
You eat rice everyday.
Your parents want you to be a doctor or a lawyer.
Everyone in your school assumed you were smart and knew karate.
When you tell your parents you got a 95% on a math quiz, they ask you where the other 5% went


These pretty much sum up my life, EXCEPT it's the other way around for me for "Everyone thinks you're "Chinese" no matter what part of Asia your ancestors were from".  I AM Chinese, but everyone thinks I'm Filipino or Hawaiian or mixed or something else. But all the academic ones and shiiet are pretty much true. Even though I have been called an anti-Asian (I'm not small, I'm a good driver, I'm hella hella hella tan, I don't have small eyes, etc.), I lurrrrrrrrrrrve being asian! Gung hay fat choi bitchhhh!